Now that the sun is back out in full force, it's sunscreen time again!
Sunscreen is a must for *anyone*, but it is especially imperative to limit sun exposure if you have an autoimmune issue, like lupus. For many of us, the sun can trigger flares.
Minimize your flares by supplementing with vitamin D3 and limiting your time in the sun- and by wearing sunscreen and a hat when you do go out.
Had lessons in boudoir posing and a photoshoot with the incredible @anjimonique and showed her skincare tips and tricks in return to keep her flawless skin glowing at 40.
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**Paella over a wood fire**
Yeah, I have odd hobbies, not all of them particularly titillating, but I love them. This week, I purchased a vintage terracotta outdoor oven and DIY refurbed it and painted and sealed it.
Cooking is one of my passions and I have extremely eclectic tastes.
I've wanted to make Spanish paella the traditional way for years and I was finally able to do so this week and the result was SO spectacular.
I have a traditional Moroccan brasier coming soon and the next outdoor cookery experiment with be with a *tagine*.
**THE VERY FIRST HOTMESSTV MORNING PODCAST**
**HOTMESSTV MORNING MESS PODCAST WITH JESS EPISODE 1**
Yeah, idk if this is a podcast per se, but It's a long-winded voice msg I am *calling a podcast*
Women face pressure and unfair expectations about their bodies at every age. But, for some reason, body positivity is often portrayed as an issue only impacting girls and younger women.
Men, also, face the same pressures and often don't discuss it.
Learn to embrace and love the skin you're in **now**.
What a blessing it is to even be alive!
53 is the new 53. Beauty is timeless. Embrace your age, body, shape, weight and love ❤️ yourself. Boudoir photography is a great gift for the soul and Anji Monique at @anjimonique can definitely coax out your inner Goddess.
**Check your DMs for previews of my photoshoot last night with the amazing @anjimonique **
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as the weather warms, DON'T FORGET THOSE SUNGLASSES!
The most important benefit of wearing sunglasses is that they protect your eyes from ultraviolet (UV) light. UV light can have harmful effects on the eyelid, cornea, lens, and retina.
**Ten Tips for Communicating with a Person with Dementia**
My mother has dementia. This week, I had to take her to see the oncologist and neurologist. It can be very devastating seeing your loved ones decline, but I feel it is my responsibility to make sure she has an advocate who loves her.
I know I am not alone out there as an older adult. Sometimes, when I am not posting on here, this is one of the *many real-life* things I have to deal with.
It can be extremely stressful to handle, especially as their communication skills decline- but here are a few tips:
We aren’t born knowing how to communicate with a person with dementia—but we can learn. Improving your communication skills will help make caregiving less stressful and will likely improve the quality of your relationship with your loved one. Good communication skills will also enhance your ability to handle the difficult behavior you may encounter as you care for a person with a dementing illness.
**Set a positive mood for interaction.**
Your attitude and body language communicate your feelings and thoughts more strongly than your words do. Set a positive mood by speaking to your loved one in a pleasant and respectful manner. Use facial expressions, tone of voice, and physical touch to help convey your message and show your feelings of affection.
**Get the person’s attention.**
Limit distractions and noise—turn off the radio or TV, close the curtains or shut the door, or move to quieter surroundings. Before speaking, make sure you have her attention; address her by name, identify yourself by name and relation, and use nonverbal cues and touch to help keep her focused. If she is seated, get down to her level and maintain eye contact.
**State your message clearly.**
Use simple words and sentences. Speak slowly, distinctly, and in a reassuring tone. Refrain from raising your voice higher or louder; instead, pitch your voice lower. If she doesn’t understand the first time, use the same wording to repeat your message or question. If she still doesn’t understand, wait a few minutes and rephrase the question. Use the names of people and places instead of pronouns (he, she, they) or abbreviations.
**Ask simple, answerable questions.**
Ask one question at a time; those with yes or no answers work best. Refrain from asking open-ended questions or giving too many choices. For example, ask, “Would you like to wear your white shirt or your blue shirt?” Better still, show her the choices—visual prompts and cues also help clarify your question and can guide her response.
**Listen with your ears, eyes, and heart.**
Be patient in waiting for your loved one’s reply. If she is struggling for an answer, it’s okay to suggest words. Watch for nonverbal cues and body language, and respond appropriately. Always strive to listen for the meaning and feelings that underlie the words.
**Break down activities into a series of steps.**
This makes many tasks much more manageable. You can encourage your loved one to do what he can, gently remind him of steps he tends to forget, and assist with steps he’s no longer able to accomplish on his own. Using visual cues, such as showing him with your hand where to place the dinner plate, can be very helpful.
**When the going gets tough, distract and redirect.**
If your loved one becomes upset or agitated, try changing the subject or the environment. For example, ask him for help or suggest going for a walk. It is important to connect with the person on a feeling level before you redirect. You might say, “I see you’re feeling sad—I’m sorry you’re upset. Let’s go get something to eat.”
**Respond with affection and reassurance.**
People with dementia often feel confused, anxious, and unsure of themselves. Further, they often get reality confused and may recall things that never really occurred. Avoid trying to convince them they are wrong. Stay focused on the feelings they are demonstrating (which are real) and respond with verbal and physical expressions of comfort, support, and reassurance. Sometimes holding hands, touching, hugging, and praising will get the person to respond when all else fails.
**Remember the good old days.**
Remembering the past is often a soothing and affirming activity. Many people with dementia may not remember what happened 45 minutes ago, but they can clearly recall their lives 45 years earlier. Therefore, avoid asking questions that rely on short-term memory, such as asking the person what they had for lunch. Instead, try asking general questions about the person’s distant past—this information is more likely to be retained.
**Maintain your sense of humor.**
Use humor whenever possible, though not at the person’s expense. People with dementia tend to retain their social skills and are usually delighted to laugh along with you.
**THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF COFFEE**
I need my cuppa joe in the mornings to get me going for the day. I rarely have more than one cup (or two) at my age, but there *are* definite health benefits.
👉🏻**What are the top health benefits of drinking coffee?**
Your brew gives you benefits beyond an energy boost. Here are the top ways coffee can positively impact your health:
👉🏻**You could live longer.**
Recent studies found that coffee drinkers are less likely to die from some of the leading causes of death in women: coronary heart disease, stroke, diabetes and kidney disease.
👉🏻**Your body may process glucose (or sugar) better.**
That’s the theory behind studies that found that people who drink more coffee are less likely to get type 2 diabetes.
👉🏻**You're less likely to develop heart failure.**
Drinking one to two cups of coffee a day may help ward off heart failure when a weakened heart has difficulty pumping enough blo0d to the body.
👉🏻**You are less likely to develop Parkinson's disease.**
Caffeine is not only linked to a lower chance of developing Parkinson’s disease, but it may also help those with the condition better control their movements.
👉🏻**Your liver will thank you.**
Both regular and decaf coffee seem to have a protective effect on your liver. Research shows that coffee drinkers are more likely to have liver enzyme levels within a healthy range than people who don’t drink coffee.
👉🏻**Your DNA will be stronger.**
Dark roast coffee decreases breakage in DNA strands, which occur naturally but can lead to cancer or tumors if not repaired by your cells.
👉🏻**Your odds of getting colon cancer will go way down.**
One in 23 women develops colon cancer. But researchers found that coffee drinkers — decaf or regular — were 26 percent less likely to develop colorectal cancer.
👉🏻**You may decrease your risk of getting Alzheimer's disease.**
Almost two-thirds of Americans living with Alzheimer’s disease are women. But the caffeine in two cups of coffee may provide significant protection against developing the condition. In fact, researchers found that women age 65 and older who drank two to three cups of coffee a day were less likely to develop dementia in general.
👉🏻**You're not as likely to suffer a stroke.**
For women, drinking at least one cup of coffee a day is associated with lowered stroke risk, which is the fourth leading cause of death in women.
Throwback Thursday to my 50th birthday 3 years ago.
"The night is dark and full of terrors"
You don't have to be scared of aging, have a magical necklace, or be a red witch in order to look and feel good as you grow older.
Sensible habits and care *can* go a long way.
Is insomnia keeping you up at night?
Unplugging from devices, using soothing sleep sounds, supplementing with melatonin and magnesium, and not eating with 3 hours of bedtime should help get you some zzzs.
**CHRONIC ILLNESS IS OFTEN INVISIBLE**
Do I look like the picture of health to you- or do I look vibrant and healthy for a woman of my age?
Looks can be deceiving with chronic illness.
I have survived 3 bouts of Covid, pulmonary embolisms, lupus, a minor heart attack, and 2 TIA mini-strokes in my early 40s- all, except for the Covid, a result of genetic health issues and Lupus in particular.
I am 53 and feel very blessed to even be *typing* this.
I have a chronic illness called Lupus which is becoming more and more common in our population and I think I am doing really well managing it mostly holistically.
Does it impact my outlook? Hell no, I know how to manage it. It makes me even more grateful to be alive.
-More about lupus here: https://www.lupus.org/resources/explaining-lupus-to-others
-A great article about another woman with lupus who got the same sh*t from others:
https://www.lupus.org/.../savannah-knudtson-speaking-up...
**10 FACTS ABOUT LUPUS:**
1. It’s not contagious, relax. You can’t ‘catch’ lupus like a virus. So yes, you can still hug me. And you can still share my water bottle— you might catch my cold but you won’t catch my lupus. No one is quite sure how you get lupus, but scientists think it’s a combination of hormones, genetics, and environmental causes.
2. I might be on the same medications as people with cancer or malaria…but I don’t have cancer or malaria. Yeah, it’s confusing. But some of the drugs that work well for other illnesses help with lupus too. Some medications used in chemotherapy for cancer patients also help control the immune system in people with lupus. Medications used to treat malaria can also treat skin rashes, joint pain, and sun sensitivity from lupus.
3. Yes, it affects my immune system. But it’s not like other immune diseases. Actually, it’s kind of the opposite. People with other types of immune problems have low immune activity so they’re unable to fight off infections, but people with lupus have a **highly active immune system** that attacks the body. And while other immune problems are sexually transmitted, **lupus isn’t.**
4. It’s more common than you think. You might think lupus is a super rare disease, but about 1.5 million people in the US have it. Selena Gomez has lupus. So does Nick Cannon. Seal has it too. It’s tricky to diagnose, so there may be a lot more people with lupus who haven’t been diagnosed yet.
5. Guys can get it too. Lupus is definitely most common in y0ung and middle-aged women (90% of people diagnosed with the disease are women ages 15-44), but anyone of any age can have lupus—guys included.
6. No, I’m not lazy. You’ll probably notice me napping more than the average person. It’s not that I just really like to snooze—I need to. Chronic fatigue is a big part of lupus. If I don’t sit down or take a nap when I get tired, I could have a flare and start feeling really sick. It’s important for me to recharge so I have the energy to do more later.
7. I’m glad to hear I look fine, but that doesn’t mean I feel fine. It’s flattering that you don’t think I “look sick”…to a point. But trust me, when I say I don’t feel well, I mean it. Sometimes it may be more obvious that my lupus is acting up, like if I have a rash on my skin. But even if I look like myself, I might be experiencing joint pain, fatigue, or other problems you can’t see. Lupus is invisible that way, but it’s very real.
8. I’m not avoiding you, seriously. I’m sorry I missed your party last week. But I promise I’m not being flakey. When I say it’s because I’m not feeling well, that really is the reason.
9. I really, really need to stay out of the sun. In fact, I need to wear sunscreen all the time. Even when it’s not sunny. And even when I’m not outside. I know it sounds like I’m overreacting, but my lupus makes me sensitive to the ultraviolet rays in sunlight and even indoor lighting. It can give me a rash and make me feel fatigued. So I’ll stick with my floppy sunhat and SPF 100, thank you very much.
10. “No cure” doesn’t mean I can’t still live a normal life. Lupus sucks. It’s a serious disease, and it can be deadly. But luckily there are a lot of medications to treat its symptoms and prevent flares. I need to work with my doctors to keep my health under control and listen to my body when I don’t feel well. But I can still concentrate on my goals and have fun like everyone else. Lupus is just one part of my life.
Does anybody love Filipino garlic fried rice? You can do it with cauliflower rice! Just add your protein…
Lowering your carb intake and watching your macros is an excellent way to lose weight. I recommend 6 small meals a day.
It's worked for me since January and I've lost over 30 lbs of Pandemic and menopause weight (combined with a regular workout program)
Authenticity and honesty, as one gets older, are **everything**.
There is a certain freedom that comes from being older.
Embrace your *trueselves* and run with it.
Life is too short for BS.
**Why Do We Instinctively Stretch When We Wake Up?**
It’s the first thing most of us do upon waking up — stretch and yawn. This movement has a name: pandiculating.
A pandiculation is defined as the constriction of muscles, releasing them, which is followed by a stretch. Animals, especially cats and dogs, do it effortlessly and about 40 times a day. And in humans, the action starts during the gestation period, which probably explains why this behavior is so innate.
One of the most common reasons behind the phenomenon is that when we sleep, the muscles lose tone, and fluid tends to accumulate along the back. Therefore, stretching helps to massage the fluid gently back into a normal position, realigning the muscles, writes Luis Villazon for Science Focus.
In addition, both stretching and yawning are known to be stress relievers and hence, pandiculation can also be seen as a way to decrease stress before the day, explains Nicholas Licameli, a physical therapist. This full-body stretch activates the parasympathetic nervous system that is responsible for the body’s ability to rest, digest and recover, and increases the bl0od flow helping the body restore conscious, voluntary control over the muscles.
**Aging, Genetics, and Skincare**
(photo from 4 yrs ago with my cousin @surfwithclaire)
Skin aging is a complex process influenced by heritable and environmental factors. Recent studies on twins have revealed that up to 60% of the skin aging variation between individuals can be attributed to genetic factors, while the remaining 40% is due to non-genetic factors.
This photo is almost 4 years old. I am over 20 years older than my cousin @surfwithclaire. One thing I have always taught my clients and loved ones is the importance of good skincare and healthy habits. Aloe-based skin care can slow the hands of time, even in already sun-damaged skin.
Admittedly, our family has been blessed with great genetics, it still requires *work* to maintain.
Hydration is another key factor in keeping the skin and body supple and youthful.
*Daily exercise* is also a must in keeping the heart pumping and nourishing the cells in the entire body.
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